Since i've been educating myself on this site and reading some intricate, creative and intelligent ways that people are expressing themselves i am feeling more and more concerned about what my writing will say about me and how people will interpret who i am. I am learning only now at 27 years old about the truth behind positive thought. I didn't know until recently that our brains are wired to think negitively and that five out of the six main emotions are negitive with the only one being joy and that is a fleeting emotion apparently. We react to everything we encounter because of the way we are designed to react which is influenced by our genes, our upbringing, our natures and our communication styles and knowing this i believe enables us to make a choice about that pre wiring we've been given. A choice that changes the fabric of every occurance in our lives.
Today is valentines day and i have reacted to today based on an experience i encountred a couple of years ago when my then boyfriend decided he wouldn't contact me at all because he was feeling low and was thinking only of himself. I spent the day with immense anxiety which affected everything i did that day and i sat with it thinking i was powerless to do anything about it, afterall i had been made to feel that i didn't matter by someone who i thought loved me.
Today however i am able to take the negitive energy that is attempting to engulf me and look at how i can change this energy to give me a choice about how i'm going to feel today. I say this because by 11am this morning my partner Chris had not called and we don't live together so i was wondering how this valentines day would turn out. He text just after 11am to say he hopes we have many more valentines together and what time was i coming round as he is cooking tonight. Obviously this valentines is going to be different from my experience a couple of years ago but the thoughts that were starting to take over me were still there but i now know the truth behind positive thinking and its not about suppressing the negitive and pretending everything is different, its about having the ability to look outside of your own pre wired mind, your prejudices and insecurities and to give yourself alternatives ways of seeing a situation so that you can give an informed decision and not simply an emotional reaction.
